ANXIETY HOLDS ME BACK
HOW TO OVERCOME ANXIETY
Is anxiety holding you back from achieving your life’s goals and dreams?
More troubling than that, is working on your goals and dreams causing you anxiety?
How bad does it get? Weeks on end without you making meaningful progress? Does the thought of your goals alone make you feel like you’re having a panic attack?
I’ve been there. I have found ways to manage my anxiety and so can you.
Let’s talk about overcoming goal induced anxiety. That way you can get back to achieving the things that are so important to you!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Pushing through anxiety issues
Anxiety attacks vs panic attacks
Tips on how to deal with anxiety
WHAT IS ANXIETY?
According to Medline.gov, “Anxiety is a feeling of fear, dread, and uneasiness. It might cause you to sweat, feel restless and tense, and have a rapid heartbeat. It can be a normal reaction to stress. For example, you might feel anxious when faced with a difficult problem at work, before taking a test, or before making an important decision. It can help you to cope. The anxiety may give you a boost of energy or help you focus. But for people with anxiety disorders, the fear is not temporary and can be overwhelming.”
WHY ARE YOUR GOALS GIVING YOU ANXIETY?
It goes without saying that your goals and dreams are very important to you.
The importance we give it places a weight on our shoulders. As such, our goals can also be a source of stress.
Although, not all stress is bad stress.
It’s important to know that there is a sense of stress or anxiousness that motivates us to work on our goals that is necessary.
It’s our body and mind knowing what we want, which is fine.
However, when our thoughts around our goals and dreams aren’t kept in the right tone, they can linger in dangerous and counterproductive areas.
HOW DOES ANXIETY CAUSE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS?
When pursuing your goals you might have some intrusive thoughts like “I’m not good enough”, “I’ll never finish” or “why do I even try”.
These thoughts may crawl into your head even though your not trying to think them.
Thoughts that mimic this sentiment are just self-sabotage likely linked to your anxiety.
To have anxiety is to worry. Remember that anxiety is natural to an extent. It’s our minds getting us to pay attention, preparing us for possible problems or outcomes.
But we have to address our anxiety before it becomes a problem.
Unaddressed anxiety just becomes repetitive and builds a pattern of practice. Our situation can worsen because these intrusive thoughts just add to even more anxiety.
THOUGHTS THAT CAUSE ANXIETY
The following thoughts are usually at the center of our anxiety when we think about our goals:
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- The end goals feel so far away
- Your goals are too difficult
- Comparing yourself to others’ success
- Beating yourself up for your failures, for missing deadlines, achievements, or tasks.
- Feeling lost or unable to adjust your plan.
Sound familiar?
These thoughts and others like it can make us stressed. We feel the uncertainty of what we’re doing and where we’re going, making us anxious.
And when we linger too long in these thoughts we end up hurting ourselves.
It makes the weight of our goals and dreams unbearable and we can feel like giving up.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR ANXIETY
First off, I want to take the time to tell you that:
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- Goals may seem far away but small consistent steps are all it takes to close the gap.
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- Goals may seem like they are too difficult at times and that’s okay. Those small consistent steps will break down difficult tasks into easier ones. In the end those steps will still take you there!
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- You are more than enough to achieve your goals and dreams!
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- Don’t compare yourself to others. Your success will come to you and you’ll do it in your own way.
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- Stop beating yourself up.
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- It’s okay to be adaptable and change your plans to be more efficient. Make it thorough, have it written where you can always see it, and revisit it often. This will help you always know what you’re supposed to be doing.
When we experience our negative thoughts, some of us still push through our tasks with these thoughts in mind. However, this can become a dangerous cycle.
“The only true failures in life are in quitting and never starting“
GrindPolicy #44
DEALING WITH ANXIETY
PUSHING THROUGH IS NOT ENOUGH
While it’s important to be consistent in the pursuit of our goals and dreams, your state of mind has to be in the right place as you do it.
For some people, pushing through their stress is easy. They can continually fight through their physical and mental state to do the tasks at hand.
For those who suffer from anxiety, not so much. We can only get so far before something worse happens.
We have to find ways to manage and overcome anxiety.
Continued exposure to anxiety can lead to loss of confidence, fear, depression, anxiety disorders or panic attacks, and more.
WORKING ON YOUR GOALS SHOULDN’T BE A CONSTANT FIGHT
I worked under the constant pressure of “I’m not where I want to be in life”.
Without thinking about it, I had attached these thoughts to my goals and dreams.
So every time I had to do even simple tasks toward my goals and dreams, I felt these thoughts and the wave of negative emotions that came with it.
As you can imagine, these negative thoughts made it hard to do anything. Completely zapped my energy and motivation.
And when it was hard, my only answer was to keep pushing and do the task anyway.
It was like I was forcing my body to push a train up a hill.
This did not address the core issue which was my stress inducing thoughts. Instead, it reinforced the issue by making it a common practice.
FIGHT OR FLIGHT STRESS RESPONSE
Flight or flight is our basic and innate response system to stressors. For me, I kept telling my body I had to fight.
It got to the point where the mere thought of my tasks for the day made my adrenaline shoot like I had to run away for survival.
I thought I was doing good when I pushed myself to get shit done anyway. And while I was being consistent for some time, I wasn’t addressing the core issue.
Eventually it got to the point where I was frequently burned out.
The issue is that working on your goals shouldn’t be a constant battle.
Working on your goals and dreams should be a place of happiness, challenge, and fulfillment. A place that we would want to be, not avoid.
A place where we love what we’re doing.
PROCRASTINATION CAUSES ADDED ANXIETY
On top of constantly fighting through my tasks, there were times I didn’t do enough and times when I didn’t do anything at all.
Sometimes, I would put off my tasks for another day. I may not have had the strength to fight at the time.
However, the same thoughts would surface in my head, “I’m not where I want to be in life”. Then I would beat myself up for not doing the things that I needed to do.
It’s important to know that after so much battling it’s okay to take a break. When people work out they have to let their bodies rest as part of the process.
The same goes for your mind.
SELF SABATOGES
I didn’t understand this at the time.
This constant abuse of negative emotions and fighting eventually led to recurring anxiety attacks.
I didn’t think such a thing could happen to me but it was the result of repeated stress and anxiety.
It felt like I couldn’t breathe and as though my heart was going to give out. It was terrifying. I thought something was very medically wrong with me.
SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP
Luckily for me, my stepfather was a doctor. I told him that I thought I was having a heart attack.
I was having weird palpitations in my chest sometimes. At other times like my heart was missing beats all together.
A lot of worrying sensations I’d never felt before.
It’s very important to have a professional diagnose your condition so that you know for sure what the problem is.
My Stepfather checked me out and said everything was fine. He’d known all the things I had on my plate and was trying to get done.
Surprisingly, he flat out said that it was my anxiety that was causing my ailments.
ANXIETY ATTACKS VS PANIC ATTACKS
According to verywellmind.com, “Anxiety attacks share many of the same symptoms as a panic attack, including rapid heartbeat, sweating, and racing thoughts. Anxiety attacks are usually slightly less severe than a panic attack, and may not involve a specific trigger or phobia. Anxiety attacks usually also don’t involve fear of the specific place where the attack took place, as panic attacks often do.”
HOW DID I OVERCOME MY GOAL INDUCED ANXIETY?
I had to override my naturally occurring negative thoughts with positive reinforcement. It took practice and repetition.
DISCLAIMER
It’s important to seek a medical diagnosis and treatment for any problems.
I am not a medical professional, however, the steps I followed below did help me in overcoming my own anxiety.
I am sharing them with you for general knowledge and not to be taken as professional medical advice.
1. BREATHE
Deep and purposeful breathing helps. Remember that you’re alive and healthy with each breath.
When you breathe out, just let out all the stress with it. Practice breathing exercises and imagine the stress leaving your body.
Meditation and other physical exercises and stretching may help too. Find what works for you.
2. BREAK AWAY
The first thing you have to do is walk away from your stressors.
Take a break to gain some perspective. Give your body and mind time to heal and relax.
CAN ANXIETY GO AWAY NATURALLY?
Taking a break will give yourself time to get back to normal. Your anxiety will go away naturally.
Keep in mind though, it’s temporary until you deal with the thoughts that were causing you anxiety in the first place.
A break won’t resolve the underlying thoughts, just gave you space from them.
I put my projects aside for two weeks so that I can heal and take the time to really figure out what specific thoughts were triggering my anxiety and my panic attacks.
It was in these two weeks that I found my triggers and developed these steps to overcome my anxiety.
Figure out what your triggers are. What are the specific thoughts that bring on your anxiety?
3. REMEMBER WHY YOU CHOSE YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS
At some point, you were a blank slate. It was only sometime after that your thoughts brought you to your goals and dreams.
Something about them made you change the course of your life to pursue them.
And at that time, they probably didn’t induce stress or anxiety! They were just happy thoughts.
You likely imagined the happiness and fulfillment it would bring when you were able to achieve them.
Bask in the thoughts of your success. Let it fill your soul again.
Don’t think about what you need to do, just let the thoughts of happiness and success take hold of your mind.
Really enjoy the thoughts of you already being successful. What would you have? Who would be around you? Think about how you would see yourself.
It’s important to remember that we had these thoughts when we made our goals and dreams.
We want these things because of the happiness we foresee, not because of the struggle to get there. It is happiness that drives us.
4. REVISIT YOUR PLAN
Take a look at the tasks at hand. What’s the next step you were supposed to do to move closer to success? Is there anything about your plan you need to change?
While you’re revisiting your plan, consider changes to make it more efficient. Just remember to not stress out.
You’re not planning to work on anything yet. rather, you’re simply remember the things you have to do.
If you start feeling anxious, just remember to breathe and think about the happiness of your goals again. Bring this happiness into what you’re doing.
Remember that this is a low stress task. It’s just taking a look.
5. TAKING ACTION
A. YOUR’E IN CONTROL
Take the steps towards your goals and dreams. Accomplish your scheduled tasks.
Not because you have to, or because it’s a job, but because you choose to. You’re in control. And every step you take is because you chose to take that step.
You are choosing to make progress because you know the happiness and success that your goals and dreams will give you.
B. MAKE MOTIVATION EASY
In reality, your happiness should be driving all that you do toward these goals and dreams. After all, the realization of this happiness is what you’re pursuing.
Make motivation easy by bringing that same happiness into your everyday day tasks.
It’s not a secret that happy thoughts bring you into a better state of being the same way negative thoughts drain your energy.
Keep your motivation high by remembering your happiness
6. CELEBRATE THE ACCOMPLISHMENT OF ALL YOUR STEPS
Celebrate every step you take, no matter how big or small.
Sometimes we work so hard that we forget to see our own accomplishments. We move on to the next task without a second thought.
We need to take the time to celebrate ourselves and what we’re doing.
This will help us be happier and more productive in the long run.
POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT
This will help our positive reinforcement and break bad habits of negative thoughts.
We are recognizing our steps and being proud of ourselves for what we’ve done, giving us better momentum to keep moving forward.
Importantly, we’ll be less likely to get burned out this way.
And as we continue to do this, we actually make this practice become normal behavior!
It becomes second nature and our minds will look forward to working on our goals because of the positive stimulus that comes with it.
7. DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP
It’s important to not beat yourself up or put yourself down for anything you might consider failure or procrastination.
You will be more consistent with positive reinforcement but that doesn’t mean you will be perfect. There will be mistakes, learning points, and breaks along the way.
But as long as you’re consistent more often than you’re not, you will see meaningful progress.
If you happen to need a break from your projects or goals, just remember that it’s okay to do so.
We all need breaks sometimes. See the benefit in giving your mind a rest. Then pick up right where you left off.
Of course, it’s a fine line that sometimes gets blurred. But know the difference between a needed break and the line where it becomes counterproductive.
With a positive mindset it will always be easier to get back on the right side of the line. So remember not to beat yourself up.
Enjoy your breaks. And then love what you do when you get back to it.
If ever things get crazy just take a step back and repeat.
Remember you only fail if you quit.
“When you’ve achieved your goals and dreams, you’ll have the hindsight to see your anxieties were pointless. Now, have the foresight to see the same.“
GrindPolicy #49
CONCLUSION
Anxiety can hold us back from pursuing our goals. The way we think about goals and dreams can induce the very anxiety that is holding us back from achieving them.
Importantly, we have to know what triggers our anxiety so we know how to overcome them.
Once we know our triggers, we can then take the steps above to break the pattern of negative thoughts and replace them with positive reinforcement.
Our goals shouldn’t cause anxiety. Let’s find the happiness and fulfillment we deserve.
