HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE Step #1 – POWER

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE IN ONE POWERFUL MOVE

 

POWER IN YOUR CONTROL 

We all dream of the perfect lives we want to live. These dreams are important to us because they represent the accomplishments, freedom and happiness we want.

As important as our dreams are, though, we struggle to make them into reality.

Why is it so hard? First, because many of us aren’t even in full control of our own lives as we are right now. And what’s worse is that we feel stuck believing that we can’t gain that control.

Of course, there are always outside circumstances that can impact our lives and affect the results of our actions. 

However, when it comes to the pursuit of happiness and success, what I’m about to tell you is more powerful than anything coming from the outside world. It all comes from within you. 

 

 

 

IT HAPPENED TO ME

One day, when I really needed it, it hit me hard and I began to believe it. 

This shit is powerful. I felt my soul surging through my body. I felt like I could see the world around me so clearly, I could feel the control I had over my life. 

You know those moments where you get up and you’re like hell yeah! I’m ready to take on the world!? You power through your task list while feeling amazing, because you know you’re that much closer to achieving something you’ve been working so hard for. The best part is that it was easy.

Imagine feeling that way all the time. That’s the feeling I get consistently, thanks to this mindset that I’m about to share with you. The Control Mindset.

 

 

 

CONTROL MINDSET

When we’re talking about goals, dreams, and life success, remember:

Understanding this is the power play. You are the result of your choices.

Where we mess up is thinking that we don’t have full control over those choices. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we never had any choice in some circumstances.

Many of us have had things happen in our lives that were adverse to our goals. We got rejected or we made some bad decisions somewhere along the way. Discouraged, we often shift the blame in part or as a whole onto other circumstances or people. 

That’s what’s been KILLING our power. Catching on yet? Let me help you.

 

 

 

TAKE CONTROL BACK

Take control of your life by understanding that your life as you know it, where you are today, is a result of your actions and your decisions.

I’m talking about the good decisions that led to your successes, along with, and especially, the bad decisions—the mistakes, the things we don’t like to talk about, the things we blame others for, the shit that didn’t go the way we thought or hoped. The things that hurt.

These are some hard pills to swallow for a lot of people. We can have a hard time admitting where we went wrong. I still find myself blaming outside circumstances sometimes, but then I quickly correct myself, because the benefits of taking control of your life are immense, as you will see.

 

 

 

WHAT HAPPENS

When we don’t take ownership of the part we play in our own decisions? We give ownership away. We give control away. Does that sound insane? Trust me, the effects can be felt.

We don’t see it that way. It looks like the best way out of a bad situation. However, when we point our fingers, we’re saying that we didn’t have the ability to change the situation. 

The problem is twofold. Not only do we lose our own control of our lives, but we give it to the object of our blame.

 

 

 

PUT IT ALL IN PERSPECTIVE

Imagine it in terms of money. We have $10,000, but every time we blame someone else, we give them $1,000. Congratulations—you gave that asshole you don’t like $1,000 because it was their fault you didn’t do something right.

Would you do that? Of course not! You’d never give money away like that. So why would you do that with the control over your life?

 

 

 

THE TRUE COST

In fact, blaming outside factors for our failures is giving away something more valuable than money: OURSELVES. How much are your dreams and goals worth to you? How much is your time worth? What’s 1000 dollars compared to the grand scheme of your master plan? These are the things we lose out on. 

We willingly tell the world it’s not our fault for all kinds of reasons. We’re constantly saying that those reasons are in control of our lives. It gets really messy when this becomes a habit. We’re blaming that guy, that girl, traffic, missed calls or messages, forgetfulness, ignorance, or whatever else we shift the blame to.

After a while, we are hurting mentally and physically, struggling to get things done, wondering why our lives feel so out of control. 

The answer is obvious: we have been giving it away the whole time! Like an Oprah giveaway meme, everybody can have a piece of control over your life.    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DON’T LIE TO YOURSELF

We can try to convince ourselves otherwise. “I sometimes shift the blame a little, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving away control.”

The problem is our bodies believe what we tell them. We react based on what we know and are comfortable with. We work off of muscle memory. What we practice is what we do. 

Frankly put, you’re going to miss the ball on something if you constantly give control away. How many opportunities can you afford to miss?

An opportunity will pass you by because you will be out of practice seeing opportunities in unlikely places.

When you reach a wall, you will blame your misfortune on the wall and let it direct you somewhere else when you could have simply climbed over it. You might not even see climbing over it as an option. That’s what happens when you give away the power of control. 

 

You can easily lead yourself down some dreary paths:

• feeling like nothing’s in your control
• heightened levels of stress
• greater sense of dependency on others for your success
• depression or anxiety 

 

In reality, most of what we experience can be changed by our choices. Seeing the right choices that will help us reach our goals requires acknowledging and accepting where our choices have brought us so far. 

 

 

 

EXCEPTIONS? Not really.

When I talk about changing the things that hurt us, I only mean the parts that we play. It’s important to understand that we cannot change the parts that other people play. 

Some of us have gone through some real trauma because of things that happened in our lives or to those we care about.

I need to clarify that this is not what I’m talking about. I know some of you will use these situations as examples in your head and try to see how they correlate to what I’m saying.

They can’t correlate, because you cannot be responsible for someone else’s actions or their decisions, no matter how much they may have hurt you or hindered your progress.

No matter what choices I had on the day someone I knew died in a car crash, there would be nothing I could do, because my choices don’t change theirs. This event did greatly affect my life and hinder any progression I had toward my goals. Overcoming it took something else entirely, and that is a conversation for another day.

In short, everyone is responsible for their own choices, but I can be responsible for losing my job if I’m late due to unforeseen traffic. It goes without saying that I would have several choices that could avoid that outcome.

You are in charge of your choices and your perspective about those choices. 

 

Now…

 

 

 

UNLOCK POWER

We’ve talked about what happens when you don’t take control of your life. The opposite option is incredibly empowering and I swear by it. Taking ownership of all your decisions, including the ones that lead to your failures, unleashes a beast inside you. Everyone has the capability to develop this God-given power from within. It’s something we all have. 

You have to look deep into your reflection and confront the things you’re not proud of. Confront the rejections and the disappointments; accept that they are a result of your choices. Take ownership of them and truly believe that you were in control of those outcomes. 

Understanding that you’re in control of your life means seeing the different choices you could have made that would have changed those outcomes and confronting the reasons why you made the choices that you did, no matter how ridiculous. 

That’s when you take control back. When you can see the choices you could have made to give you better outcomes and still accept the ones you made. 

If you have the power to accept all your past decisions, then you have taken back control of your life. Go ahead and tell yourself “I am in control of my life” for each one of those moments. You don’t have to be proud of them, but you do have to accept them.

 

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE

Think through the major moments of disappointment. Find the decisions you made that played a part in the outcomes that occurred. Think about why you made those decisions, and what you could have done differently. Then tell yourself that because of these choices, you were in control. You can do this exercise at any one of the following levels, or progress through all of them.

 

1.  In your head

2.  Write it down

3.  Say it aloud

4.  Tell someone who cares about you

5.  Tell someone who isn’t that close to you

 

Remember that you don’t have to be proud of those choices, but you do have to understand and accept them. Tell yourself you are in control of your life.

 

 

 

 

TAKE IN CONTROL 

Did you confront yourself? Did you tell yourself that you were in control? Do you believe it? Good. I believe you are.

Here’s your defining moment in all this. 

If you can accept all these major rejections in your life and own them, admitting that you alone were in control, then guess what?

Likely without fully realizing it, you’ve just confronted all the WORST things that happened in your life that were a result of your own decisions. 

Yes, you have control over the worst things that have ever happened to you. If you’re thinking, wait really? Is it really that simple? No, it’s not, but you ARE that powerful!

If you were in control of many of the worst things that happened in your life, then you’re prepared for all kinds of things that may happen in the future.

Think about it: those were the worst things in your life! You’ve accepted them, you’ve beaten them, you’ve moved past them, and you’ve learned from them. 

So if you were in control at those moments, the bad things that happen result from your own decisions. 

Knowing this IS power in itself. It gives you the strength to know that you have the power to realize your own success. It’s all up to you. All you have to do now is choose your success. Your world is in your hands.

 

 

 

CHOICES IN ACTION

Imagine yourself walking into work and your boss asks you why you are late. Say “There was an accident on the highway and I got stuck in traffic.” It sucks, you’re late and you feel like you’re in trouble. You also feel victimized by your circumstance. What’s worse is that if you get fired, you’re going to feel helpless. 

Now say this, aloud or in your head:

“I chose to get up 10 minutes before the time I usually leave the house, and I chose not to check the traffic report. That is why I was late for my shift today.” 

Sounds nuts, right? Actually telling your boss this feels almost like you are overpowering a situation in which you’re supposed to be in trouble. As if the consequences didn’t even matter, because you chose this path. 

It might feel liberating, imagining this situation, where your boss doesn’t even feel like your boss, but rather a victim of your own choices. That’s because there is power in this. You’re literally taking control of your life by finding the ways in which you were responsible for your outcomes. Incredibly, life was at the mercy of your choices. 

 

 

YOUR DISCRETION

Of course, you don’t necessarily have to tell your boss this exact thing. It’s about knowing and understanding for yourself. Once you’ve had this experience, you can then choose to wake up earlier and check the traffic before you leave. You can still choose your words carefully to manifest the best possible outcome, while still personally taking responsibility for your actions. 

Let’s say you were late too often already, the worst case scenario happens, and you get fired. Yeah, that’s a bummer! However, your choices did lead to this result, and your life is still in your control. You can accept your decisions and choose to apply those lessons to your future decisions. By doing this, this situation now becomes a part of your future success. Now choose to go out there and find an even better job for yourself. Maybe one where you choose your own hours! The world is at your discretion.

This is the mindset that you need to carry forward with all your decisions. This is the mindset that unlocks your limitless potential!

 

 

 

SEE PATHS CLEARLY

Applying this mindset to everything you do will enable you to make the right choices more often than not. When you realize that you’re in control, you’ll begin doing all the things you want to do.

If something is not aligned with your wishes, you’re going to find ways to make them be. You may work with them some, work around them where you can, but you will beat them. You’ll make them a product of your will. You’ll carve your own path to match your desires. 

You are in control.

 

 

 

UNLOCK GREATER CONSISTENCY

We all know that consistency is key when it comes to reaching our goals.  The control mindset will let you be more consistent than not. If you’re in control, distractions have less sway over you, because you already know that they are not a “must.” They are simply a choice that is at the mercy of your power. 

You are in control.

 

 

 

UNLOCK RECOVERABILITY

We are human and we will make mistakes, but this mindset will help you easily recover from those mistakes. Remember, if those mistakes are in your control, then it’s just as easy to make the necessary choices to recover from those situations. 

All you have to do is know that the situation is under your control. Since you put yourself in that situation, you simply have to choose to get out of it. 

You are in control.

 

 

 

SAVE TIME

And just like that, recovery happens faster. You’ll get over your mistakes and get back to the things that matter. You know how precious and fleeting time can be, so this is essential. And that makes the control mindset all the more powerful. Take the time to save time.

You are in control.

 

 

 

PEACE OF MIND THERAPY

Life will feel like it’s under your control, because it is. You’ll experience fewer stressors. Coming to terms with yourself and your past decisions will give you a certain peace of mind. Your body won’t ache as much when you think about them.

 

 

 

CONCLUSION: YOU ARE IN CONTROL

Understand that you were in control of all your past good and bad decisions, and apply that same understanding to all your future decisions.

When you gain this understanding, you’ll see that you can exert your control over all aspects of your life as you progress toward achieving your goals. This is power.

There’s more that goes into mindset. This is just the beginning. We will cover the other parts of a strong mindset in other steps. But this is the foundation that will enable you to correctly move forward from where you are now.    

 

 

 

 

How to be successful in life  Step 2 – POTENTIAL.